Dobby Makes a New Friend
by CaelynAilene
Summary: Dobby has begun working at Hogwarts and find himself a friend, the ideal friend for a clothes loving free elf. NO shipping
1. Chapter 1

It all started when Dobby came to Hogwarts seeking a position. During his meeting with Dumbledore in the Head's office he spotted a wonderful hat sitting on a shelf appearing to be in a halo of light from the window behind it. Dobby who had so recently become quite obsessed with clothing of all sorts was awestruck. Such a magnificent hat. He was quite confused when Dumbledore sent him to straighten the office during the opening feast the following year in an attempt to keep the elf from popping into the Great Hall to visit Harry Potter. Though Dobby had no idea that was why he was sent and would have been notified if he had. He might be a free elf but he was still a good house elf. He knew better than to interrupt something like the back to school feast. Dobby had a job to do and he would do it before anything else which was why he was so upset when he got to the office and the Hat was missing. He searched everywhere and was becoming quite concerned and began squeaking worriedly as he ran around the room in circles looking for it. Dumbledore was a kind wizard but if the headmaster thought that Dobby had misplaced the hat or taken it during his cleaning duties he would be sacked.

The elf was near tears when the Hat suddenly zoomed into the room and settled on the shelf. He yelled when he saw it, "Where was you Hat? Hatses don't just appear, hatses is always where they is supposed to be unless their owner moves them."

"I was sent back to my shelf after I sorted all of the new first years silly elf."

Dobby reeled and nearly fainted. "You can talk?"

If the Hat had eyeballs they would have been rolling, "Well obviously," it drawled.

"Oh oh oh, Mr. Hat sir. Dobby loves hats, and socks, and scarves, and -"

"Do stop listing items of clothing. I quite understand what you mean."

"Oh Mr. Hat sir, will you be Dobby's friend. Dobby would be honored to have a talking hat as a friend."

The hat thought for a bit, it did get rather lonely in here, the portraits only ever talked to each other or the current headmaster. No one ever talked to him unless it was a student during the Sorting. He had all year to come up with a new song but honestly that took a month maybe two, still friends with an elf?

"Mr. Hat you can think about it Dobby will come talk to you again. Dobby must go back to work right now. Dobby must be sure the food is all cleaned up and put away then Dobby must clean up the Common Rooms after the students get to bed. Good night Mr. Hat. Dobby was so happy to meet you." With that the elf was gone before the hat could respond. It thought for a while about having a friend and the students Sorted tonight, wondering if it has sorted them all correctly before settling in and beginning work on next year's song.

 **A/N so a new story, for some reason I'm a bit stuck on my others but this came to mind and begged to be written, it's mostly drabbles and so far I have four of them, we'll see how far it goes. It all came from a discussion with HippogriffRider77 and her mom my longtime BFF about the people who ship Dobby and the Hat. NO worries this is NOT where that is going, that idea squicks me out but I couldn't get past the thought that Dobby would be totally fascinated with the Hat and want to be friends, so here it starts. Hope you enjoyed it. No promises on when I'll update but I'll do my best to keep them coming, short chapters every now and then. Reviews are always welcome and are most definitely inspiring so feel free to leave one.**


	2. Chapter 2

Three days later during the dinner hour Dobby again popped into the Headmaster's office. This time he appeared right in front of the Hat's shelf.

"Mr. Hat, Mr. Hat, Dobby is back Mr. Hat."

"Really, I never would have guessed," drawled the hat, "what do you want elf?"

"Dobby was wondering if Mr. Hat had decided if he will be Dobby's friend." the elf's eyes seemed larger than ever as he awaited an answer.

"I am not sure it would be proper for us to be friends."

Dobby's face fell, his shoulders hunched, and even his ears seemed to droop.

"But," continued the hat, "I do believe it would be acceptable for you to visit once in awhile for a conversation."

Dobby began bouncing a bit on his toes, "Oh Mr. Hat that is wonderful. Dobby loves to talk and the other house elves don't pay any attention to Dobby."

As if to prove him wrong another elf popped into the office right behind him.

"Dobby what are you doing here? We is supposed to be making and cleaning up supper. We is not supposed to be cleaning yet. Dobby will be getting in trouble if he is not doing what we is supposed to be doing. Headmaster will not be happy if you is in his office when you is not supposed to be. "

Dobby twisted his lips before replying, "Dobby was just visiting Mr. Hat. Say hello to Slinky, Mr. Hat. Slinky works in the kitchen with Dobby."

The hat did not reply, it sat perfectly still on its shelf.

"Mr. Hat," said Dobby, "say hi to Slinky. Mr. Hat?" Dobby cocked his head to one side peering at the hat.

"Dobby," Slinky scoffed, "the Sorting Hat doesn't talk to elves, it only talks to students. Stop being silly and come back to work before you gets in trouble." With that Slinky popped away.

"Mr. Hat?" Dobby asked forlornly.

"Yes elf?"

Dobby put his hands on his hips, "Why did Mr. Hat not talk when Slinky was here?"

"Slinky did not want me to talk to him. If I had talked to that elf he would have been terrified. As he said I'm only supposed to talk to the students at the sorting."

"But you talked to Dobby."

"Yes I talked to you elf and I've no idea why not if it was a good idea after all. I should be working on the sorting song for next school year not blathering away with you. "

"Why does Mr. Hat always call Dobby elf, why doesn't you can me Dobby?"

"I...you...I… You never call me by name always Mr. Hat."

"Dobby is sorry. Dobby didn't know Mr. Hat had a name. If you tell it to Dobby, Dobby will never forget and always use it when talking to you."

The hat sniffed, well it sounded like a sniff but how a hat with no nose could sniff no one knows so it must have been some other noise that just sounded like a sniff, and replied, "Come back another day and I'll tell you. I need to concentrate now."

"Yes sir," Dobby answered and popped away.

 _Now what did I say that for,_ the hat thought to itself, _I don't have a name, though I've always wished I did. Maybe it's time to name myself. Merlin knows I know enough names from years of sorting students._

The hat spent several hours that night running through names in his head. It couldn't decide if it should pick a girl out boy name or if it even mattered. Finally worn out it fell into whatever sleep a semi-sentient object can fall into.


	3. Chapter 3

The hat lost track of the number of days since Dobby's last visit. It was sure that Dobby had been scared off and wouldn't be back but while it mumbled "Good riddance" it also began to notice just how lonely the office was, especially this shelf, this blasted shelf that it was stuck sitting on save for one hour each year when it was placed on the head of each first year, hopefully recently washed heads though McGonagall was kind enough to cast a Scourgify before and after the Sorting. It was rather dusty on the shelf, the only time anyone spoke to the hat was to offer a Gesundheit when it sneezed and then to complain about the cloud of dust raised in the room.

Watching Dumbledore pace and mutter to himself was no longer so entertaining, nor was listening in on the conversations between the portraits of former Heads of Hogwarts that had also paced these floors muttering to themselves over students, professors, parents, and the magical world in general. Still the hat had no need for a friend, it repeated to itself daily, while also contemplating a name to use should the elf ever reappear.

This led to contemplating if the hat was in fact more than an object, did it have a gender? Was it a boy or a girl? Did it matter? There were no other known magical hats with which a relationship might occur. Then again the more the hat thought about the matter the more the hat disliked the idea of being referred to as an it. The hat had feelings, was self-aware, made important decisions in the lives of many children. The hat was so much more than an it. But was the hat male or female? The next several days were spent thinking through all of the students upon whose head the hat had sat, all of the Heads of Hogwarts that had occupied this office, as well as all of the visitors that had come through the door. Which characteristics were those of gender? Which were those of light or dark wizard? Which were those of humans, elves, giants? The elf assumed the hat was male, had referred to it as Mr. Hat from their first meeting, did the hat look male? What did that even mean? So for the first time in many years the hat concentrated on something other than the Sorting Song for the next year. So involved was the thinking that the hat would have jumped in surprise the next time Dobby popped in, if the hat could jump that is.

"Um Hat, sir - uh Hat. Dobby is not knowing what to call you Hat. Will you tell Dobby your name please?

The hat not having yet decided on a name decided to put off the elf, "Why should I tell my name to a creature who can't be bothered to visit me for days or weeks when he claims to want to be my friend?"

"Dobby is sorry, very sorry. Dobby has been spending lots of time cleaning Gryffindor tower. None of the other house elves will go near it."

"Why ever not? It's a house elf's job to clean the dorms. Dumbledore should know that they are shirking their duty."

"No, no, no, no, no" Dobby squeaked, "Dobby is cleaning the tower. Miss Hermione is leaving hats and scarves in the common room, hidden in the furniture and other places. She is trying to free all house elves like Dobby and Winky are free, but the other house elves is not wanting to be free. Winky is not even wanting to be free."

The top of the hat shook as if a head inside it were shaking, "You are a peculiar elf wanting freedom. Well it's certainly a good thing Miss Granger was never an option to be sorted into Hufflepuff, though I wonder if Gryffindor was the right place for her. She might have stayed out of trouble more if she'd been in Ravenclaw. House elves naturally don't want to be free. I'm assuming that stack of hats on your head are ones that she made when she should have been studying?"

Dobby nodded excitedly, "Dobby is loving the hats. I wear as many as I can. Winky has some Dobby has given to her but she won't wear them. Winky is spending her time drinking lots of butterbeer, Dobby is also having to spend lots of time taking care of her. Dobby needs to keep Winky out of the kitchen when Winky has been drinking but Dobby is not knowing where to take her. Dobby tried taking her to the Shrieking Shack but Winky was scared there. Hat do you know somewhere Dobby can take Winky when she has been drinking too much butterbeer?"

"Have the other house elves not told you of the Room of Requirement?"

"The Room of Requirement?"

"It is a room that appears as needed, and has inside of it whatever the person who calls it into being needs. I have heard it talked about by professors and Heads and even by house elves though they have another name for it."

"The Come and Go Room, Dobby has been hearing other elves talk about the Come and Go Room. Dobby is needing to find that room for Winky."

"You should ask your fellow house elves then."

Dobby shook his head, "The other house elves is not liking Dobby so much. Dobby is a free elf and they is thinking Dobby is strange and a disgrace to house elves. They was liking Winky a little more when we came to Hogwarts because she still wants to be a house elf like them, she doesn't want to be free, but they is not liking her so much anymore because she is drinking so much."

With that in popped the same elf that had come looking for Dobby the last time, "Dobby must be coming back to the kitchen, Winky is falling on the floor from the stool and mumbling. We is not having time to take care of her and we is needing her off the floor so wes can do our jobs. Dobby is the only elf Winky will listen to. Dobby must come get her off the floor and out of the kitchen or we will have to be telling the Headmaster that Winky is not doing her work."

Dobby turned to the hat, "Dobby is sorry, Dobby will be back as soon as Dobby can. Hat still needs to tell Dobby what name to call the Hat," Dobby then turned to Slinky, "Dobby needs to know where the Come and Go Room is, so Dobby can take Winky there."

Slinky shook his head, "No, no, no! Slinky can not be telling Dobby where the Come and Go Room is. The Come and Go Room is for good house elves and peoples, not for bad house elves. Dobby and Winky can not be using the room, Slinky will not tell. Good house elves find the room on their own. Dobby must find it on his own if Dobby wants to use it. Slinky does not think Dobby can find it because Dobby is not a good house elf since Dobby wears clothes and is wanting to be paid to work. House elves is not supposed to be paid."

The hat had heard enough, it was time it decided to break into this squeaking tirade, "Slinky," the hat intoned.

The little elf shrieked and jumped behind Dobby to hide muttering, "The hat talked to Slinky, hats is not supposed to talk, and magic hats is only supposed to talk to peoples. Slinky is being in big trouble."

"Slinky!" The hat snapped, "You show Dobby where the Come and Go Room is so he can get Winky out of the kitchen and you can do your job or I will tell him to leave Winky on the floor where she is and inform the Headmaster that you and the other elves are not doing your job as you refuse to clean Gryffindor Tower."

Slinky began to shake and beat himself on the ears, "No, no, no. Can't clean Gryffindor, no, no, no. Might find clothes and be freed."

"You are being ridiculous," the hat bellowed, "You house elves do the students' laundry all the time without being freed. If you are finding, uh, um," _oh wonderful I've listened to them so much I'm starting to sound like them._ "If you find a hat in the Common Room it must have been lost by a student and as you are finding it and not being given it then you would not be freed, leave the hats where you find them or continue to leave Dobby to clean the room alone but do show Dobby where the Room is."

Slinky continued shaking all over but nodded, "Slinky will go with Dobby now to get Winky and show him the room."

With that the two elves popped away and the hat went back to contemplating its nature and its name.


	4. Chapter 4

After much thought the hat decided that while Dobby had called it Mr, that wasn't right. The hat decided it had much more in common with the various females it had seen and been exposed to through the centuries but that still left the matter of a name. For more than a day the hat thought through the many students she had sat on the head of, all of their names. None of them really appealed to the hat though, she wanted a name that was all her own.

It occurred to the hat that it might be a good idea for her to come up with a name that went with her job. She was the official sorter of students, maybe there was a way to signify that with her name however as she couldn't read and had no way of turning pages even if she could read there was no way to use a baby name book to find names that meant to sort or classify. The hat had never heard of the internet but that wouldn't have helped within the magical confines of Hogwarts anyway. Finally she recalled a former Headmistress that had been the Muggle Studies teacher. That Head had been particularly interested in the muggle study of science and she would often read aloud muggle books or cast a spell that allowed them to read themselves aloud to her as she worked on other things. Muggles classified animals into different categories and those categories had names, if only she could remember the names maybe she could come up with her name. She wracked her, well whatever it was that passed for her brain, for an hour before they came to her: domain, kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species. Somewhere in there was her name. Most of the words would seem odd as names however she knew she remembered students will names similar to genus and phylum. _Hmmm, phylum, phylum, phyla, Phyla...Phyla what? Phyla Jean! That's it!_ "I am Phyla Jean Hat!" She pronounced aloud.

She must have spoken louder than she meant to because a response came from the portrait of Phinneas Nigellus Black, "For what possible reason would a hat need a name?"

While the hat formulated an answer, Armando Dippet replied, "Oh hush Phinneas, the poor hat has been without a name for its entire life, why wouldn't it want one?"

"I still fail to see why it would need a name, and it is not alive," Black retorted.

"Not alive?" Dilys Dirwent jumped into the conversation, "Then what is it if not alive?"

"It is merely an object bespelled by the founders," Black drawled, met with cheers of "hear hear" from a few other portraits.

An argument began between the many portraits as to whether the hat was alive or not and whether it needed a name. The hat sat dazed, she listened to the volley of the conversational ball, finally hearing herself referred to as an it one too many times she shouted, "I AM NOT AN IT!"

The room went quiet, all those that could turned to look at her.

"What did you say my dear hat?" inquired Dippet.

"I am not an it. My name is Phyla Jean Hat, and I am a female! You don't ever have to talk to me again, most of you never would anyway, and few if any of you ever have, but I am self-aware and capable of thought. I am aware that this does not meet the definition of alive by most standards but I fail to see how else you could classify me. So no matter what you think I know who I am and I am not seeking either your permission or your approval to name myself. I am simply saying that is who I am!"

The room went quiet, the portraits exchanged glances, but no one seemed to know what to say. The voice that broke the silence shocked them all.

"Hello Phyla Jean I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Thank you Professor Black."

Several others excited the sentiment then the office settled once again into silence buy this time for PJ it was a satisfying quiet. She was now ready for Dobby to return so that she could properly introduce herself to the elf. The thought also occurred to her that she should probably properly introduce herself to Dumbledore and McGonagall at the earliest possible opportunity. Perhaps she might also mention that they should look after Winky.


	5. Chapter 5

Once again it seemed that quite a bit of time had passed before Dobby came to visit, but this time the hat was ready for him. No sooner had the elf popped in front of the Hat than the hat spoke.

"Hello Dobby, free elf, friend of Harry Potter and caretaker of fellow free elf Winky," from the corner of her eye Phyla saw Phineas Nigellus Black in his portrait roll his eyes skyward before walking out of the frame. He was followed by at least four other former Heads. Phyla just ignored them and kept speaking, "My name is Phyla Jean Hat. You may call me Phyla or Ms. Hat."

Dobby pulled at his ears and twisted his lips, "Ms Hat is a girl?"

"Yes Dobby."

"Oh oh oh, Ms. Hat Dobby is so sorry he called you Mr. Dobby did not know. Dobby should have asked. Dobby is a bad elf," with that Dobby picked up a previously unseen candelabra and began to hit himself in the head.

"Dobby!" Phyla said aghast, "Stop that this instant!"

"But Ms. Phyla Dobby has a been a bad elf, bad elfses are supposed to punish themselves."

She had heard that this was true and in the past she was sure that there had encouraged the practice but she was equally sure that at least the two most recent would never have allowed it, "Dobby, Headmaster Dumbledore would surely not want you to ever punish yourself, most especially not for a simple mistake.

"The hat is quite right Dobby," came a voice from the door. "Here at Hogwarts our elves free or not are never required to punish themselves. If they were there would be many of your fellow elves in beating themselves about the head daily for not cleaning Gryffindor Tower and leaving it all to you.," he winked at Phyla Jean before continuing, "As your employer I do not have the right to give you an order so I will make this a request. Please don't ever do that again."

"Yessir, Master Dumbledore sir. Dobby must be going, he must be checking on Winky." Once again the elf popped away.

Dumbledore turned to the hat, "I understand an introduction is in order. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore," he said bowing a bit.

"And I am Phyla Jean Hat."

"Wonderful to meet you Phyla Jean, you must of course call me Albus."

"Oh sir I couldn't possibly."

"But I insist. I may be Headmaster now but I was once the little boy upon whose head you sat and sorted into Gryffindor. You are my elder and therefore I should call you Ms Hat, however I hope you will allow me the latitude to call you by your first name."

"Yes si - eh hem - yes Albus that would be most acceptable."

"Now Phyla Jean, you seemed rather surprised that I was aware of the fact that the elves are no longer cleaning Gryffindor Tower."

"Well yes, you have so many things to keep track of in this school with the professors, and students, not to mention the return of Voldemort and the addition of that Umbridge woman to the staff, surely a move by that cowardly Fudge."

Dumbledore stood quiet for a moment a considering look on his face, "You are correct that a great deal is happening at Hogwarts now however you will find that very little gets by me."

Phyla barely, just barely held back a snort, or maybe it was the lack of a real nose that allowed her to do so and said just three words, "Barty Crouch Jr."

"Yes, yes, well last year was even more busy than this. However I do have my sources throughout the castle in this case one of the elves came to complain about Miss Granger's actions as they most definitely do not want to be free. It seems though that I have been remiss in not counting you amongst those that might be advisors. You certainly here quite a bit sitting here on that shelf and now that you have developed a friendship with Dobby you might hear more."

"Albus, I would no more betray anything Dobby tells me in confidence than I would anything you would tell me," she was quite shocked.

"No, no I wouldn't ask you to betray a confidence however if you happen to hear something shared merely in conversation that you felt needed to be brought to my attention please feel free to do so. Besides that as you have been here in this office longer than anyone else here I think you might have a unique perspective on situations as they arise so I may begin to consult with you as I do with the former Heads of School."

This statement caused a rather large uproar from the various portraits, some in support wishing they had had that idea others utterly rejecting the thought that the _Hat_ might have anything valuable to say. Albus went to argue with them while Phyla Jean screwed her eyes shut, settled down further on her shelf and attempted to get some sleep, wishing she'd had more time to talk to Dobby.


End file.
